grope for luna

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

Chuck Norris puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”.

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista on his Etch-a-Sketch.

On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down “Violence” as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.