On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down “Violence” as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
HOW I AM LIKE DONALD TRUMP
for D.T. and other lonely people
October 18, 2016